In the course of my travels through Arizona and California over the last three months, I've shot just over 40hrs of footage. This mostly consists of interviews but always shooting film content as well.

After leaving my Van and Moses at a ranch outside Tucson, I headed to Denver with Andre to hang with Liz for the second half of October. Liz had an interview to apprentice at a midwifery center in Taos, NM and that's where I'm at now supporting her.

It's strange to be back in Toas, thinking about living here down the road and imagining post production spread between New Mexico and my family farm in Canada. When I think about all the content I've gathered and my current financial situation it's hard to not consider quitting here and now. However there's still something calling me south and although I'm rich in content, poor in dollars, and tired of living in a van, I'm still moving forward.

Why...? Well it's quite simple really, I'm afraid.

"If you have fear of some pain or suffering, you should examine whether there is anything you can do about it. If you can, there is no need to worry about it; if you cannot do anything, then there is also no need to worry." Dalai Lama

I once heard a talk by a Nobel Peace Prize recipient, I don't remember who it was, but when asked how she arrived at being who she was her response was simple, "I've always headed toward the very things that I'm afraid of."

This is my mission, to have faith in my original process and to face my fear of heading south. To open my heart to the beauty and possibilities of the world in an expansive manner, rather than shrinking away to safety zones that only serve to protect me. Protection it seems to me, is overrated. It's one thing to be unsafe and/or reckless in our pursuit of the self, but it is quite another to not face the self altogether.

In reality there's nothing to actually be afraid of.

"There was once a king who was going to put to death many people, but before doing so he offered a challenge. If anyone could come up with something which would make him happy when he was sad, and sad when he was happy, he would spare their lives.

All night the wise men meditated on the matter.

In the morning they brought the king a ring. The king said he did not see how the ring would serve to make him happy when he was sad and sad when he was happy.

The wise men pointed to the inscription. When the king read it, he was so delighted that he spared them all.

And the inscription? 'This too shall pass.' "

As my current fears will also pass, as will my lack of money, my film process, and everything else in the here and now that dominates my psyche with worry. And rather than falling down, navel gazing, and feeding into the things that I'm afraid of, I will make the CHOICE to stand up and confront myself, and express love and gratitude for the road ahead.

Coming from that place of unrelenting love and expansion, the road ahead will be beautiful and everything will fall perfectly into place, regardless of my judgments of reality. Why, because I DO believe we live in a abundant and benevolent universe!

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself."
-Franklin D. Roosevelt

"There would be no one to frighten you if you refused to be afraid."
-Mohandas K. Gandhi


"Fear is that little darkroom where negatives are developed."
-Michael Pritchard

I'm in the business of developing positives.

peace,d

Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Location: Toas, New Mexico

How did I get back here? Well that's a bit of a story.

On October 8th after I finished my interview with Andy Lipkis I headed back east towards Tucson, Arizona with my brother Andre who flew into L.A. to take a ride with me and experience life in Veronica.

It was nice to have him with me as we headed out towards Joshua Tree National Park. I explained to him how I've spent most of my last three years on the road outside of cities in these spaces of nowhere that are so deep and penetrating to the soul. At least that's how I see it. To others they can be places of boredom and solitary insanity, but to me I find them peaceful and wonderfully open. I love solitude, there's no doubt about it.

The first night outside of L.A., just north of Joshua Tree, in searching for BLM land to camp on, we arrived at the Joshua Tree Music Festival totally by fluke. As it was getting late we pulled in to park the van and camp under the stars, bathed in music from the stage that lay beyond the campground and our ability to pay.

In a few moments we were settled in listening to the music. As Andre took Moses for a walk around the campground, I read by candlelight.. when all of a sudden a familiar tune rang out across the desert. Wow.. someone is doing Blue Rodeo covers... wait.. no way.. that's no cover, it's actually Blue Rodeo.

That's serendipity for ya, two wayfaring lost Canadian boys bumping along through the California desert stumble upon a festival featuring familiar music from back home. Too weird, but oh so comforting. It's moments like these that the universe displays itself as surreal, magical and somehow loving in it's nature. I gasp, shut my eyes and listen to the familiar, from a not so familiar place.

The next day we decide to head north to Flagstaff and the Grand Canyon, rather than trucking on to Tucson. We have a few days to kill before we both fly out to Denver to visit Liz. I've done all these Arizona roads before, but Andre hasn't and it's a good opportunity to do some shooting that a co-pilot affords me this time around. So off we go to some of my now familiar Arizona van dwelling grounds.

We hit the Grand Canyon and talk about the Wow factor of this universe. There are things that make you go wow, and things that make you go WOW.. and although the Grand Canyon is amazing, Andre and I both find ourselves reflecting on the places we've been inside ourselves and how some of the largest and most profound WOWs can come from within.

"Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes." - C.G. Jung

This is the realm of my bro and I... as our conversations are usually dominated by the deeply mystical and introspective processes. We've always been this way I think, as far back as I can remember. Andre has always been one to explore the inner/outer realms of reality that lay beyond the material fabric of this world. In that he has been one of my greatest teachers and inspirations on my path towards consciousness and/or awareness.

As we head south from the Grand Canyon these conversations continue as we discuss the importance of exploration while maintaining a foot in this reality. Of letting go while still holding on to some aspect of the ego or material realm. I was just reading Ram Dass this morning and I think he puts it quite well when he says that the ego never fully disappears but instead becomes a home base to work from and/or find refuge when needed. The key I think is to abandon the ego while still having it there in case you need to pay your bills, go to the gym, or comfort a loved one in the HERE and NOW.

Down in Sedona we explore an energy vortex and connect with the outside. I think the whole natural world is an energy vortex that we've grown disconnected from. I think immersing ourselves in nature is profound in and of itself. Vortex Smortex... just get outside and sit on a rock and hike a hill or mountain.. I guarantee you'll feel the energy vortex that is in all of us.

It was beautiful to spend time on the road with my brother and share the experience of living in a van with him. I'm grateful for my parents helping pay for his flight to Denver to meet Liz, and I'm grateful to everyone for being themselves in this world and following their inner Dharma (truth) regardless of where they are or where it is taking them. As Bill Hicks says after all, it's only just a ride.

I'm glad to have such groovy, insightful, fun & funny co-pilots!

peace,d

I'm getting to the point of how I arrived in Taos... stay tuned!

MGP all but dead - Article

I'm not holding my breath just yet on this one.. there's a lot of money outside the Cdn Government that would like to see this thing become a reality. But I agree that it's better to kill pipe dreams than create nightmares.

peace,d

This is another entry on my series of entries looking at the nature of conflict and my own personal need to 'make peace' with conflict.

Don't really have time to write as much as I'd like to.. just wanted to say I had a BEAUTIFUL on-camera dialog yesterday with Andy Lipkis of Tree People in L.A.

Take the time to check out this amazing organization and increase your ecological literacy by clicking "Learn" on their website. http://www.treepeople.org/

More to follow!
peace,d

Wow! peace,d

"National Geographic sent Nichols to spend an entire year in California's redwood forest. His mission was to capture the majesty of some of the tallest trees on Earth, some of which date back before Christ. And if you've ever photographed in a forest, you'll understand the challenge this presented. There's no capturing the awe one feels before these monoliths that measure, in some cases, upward of 300 feet. " - Claire O'Neill


http://www.npr.org/blogs/pictureshow/2009/09/redwoods.html

http://ngm.nationalgeographic.com/2009/10/redwoods/bourne-text

http://ngm.nationalgeographic.com/2009/10/redwoods/redwoods-interactive

Over the last few months I've been exploring the nature of conflict. After talking with Larry Santoyo the conversation has returned within me.. and I'd like to sum up some of the things he spoke to in his dialog.

Conflict is everywhere in nature. In a world of opposites, dichotomy, contradiction and paradox conflict is a form within nature. Out of conflict we find friction, and in friction and discomfort we find energy, change and new vitality. Without those uncomfortable spaces, without the friction, without conflict life would cease to exist.

I'm reminded of West Coast Native American Art where there is use of the form known as the ovoid. The ovoid is a circle in tension.What comes through is this idea that the things are not circular, but instead everything exists in a state of dynamic beautiful tension.

I'm no expert on Native art, but I would guess that it's no mistake that these are often the shapes that make up the eyes of the artist rendered creatures.

I also think of a story I read in Ram Dass' book The Only Dance there Is. He talks about sitting in meditation with a group in Brooklyn or somewhere. There was a train that passed by the space, and every time it would pass Ram would open his eyes and see people clenching their jaws and squinting their eyes in resistance to the noise and train tremors. He himself realized at that moment that the train, the noise, the tremors, was simply energy passing through the space. Free energy, bountiful and abundant! So why the squinting? It comes from resistance and judgment of something that simply IS. When in reality is a just a beautiful magical exchange.

this is how I've been trying to think of conflict lately... I've been attempting to suspend judgment and ride the wave. I've been trying to enjoy the tension of the ovoid, the abundance of free energy, and delve into it all with a compassionate and open heart.

peace,d

Thanks to my new friend Raven for turning me onto this. peace,d

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even to the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love,
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

Bill C 6 will limit our access to alternative health care products which so many of us have, so far, enjoyed the freedom of accessing. These products range from vitamins, minerals, enzymes, teas, herbs etc...

Bill C 6 is in the senate and may be passed if we do not stand up and have our say.

Please read this article:
http://www.vitalitymagazine.com/sept09_helkefeat
in it you will find a link to accessing your MP's contact info.

There is a petition circulating that can help us defend our Rights to these products. Below you will find a link to this petition. I urge you all to download and print it. Please hand them out to your Health Food store, apothecaries or anywhere else you can think of...online petitions are not acceptable!

http://www.charterofhealthfreedom.org/index.php?/national-petition

We can flood our MP's office with letters, phone calls and emails but there is great power in submitting a signed petition.

We need 3,000,000 signatures...so there is work ahead.

Please spread the word so that we can maintain our Right to CHOOSE products that help maintain our health and/or heal ourselves of dis-ease without the use of pharmaceuticals which have a history of being toxic often achieving nothing more than symptomatic relief with massive side effects and dependency.

If you work in the media, I strongly urge you to bring this issue to light as it is not in the mainstream news.

With some effort we can prevent this Bill from passing thus securing the Rights of our children and our grandchildren to make their own health care choices.

peace,d (sent to me by my good friend Vonda)

Thursday, October 1, 2009
Arroyo Grande, CA

I'd like to start this blog by apologizing for all the times I've been a fear-monger. I think there's a lot to be afraid of in this world but all my writing about the end of the world, peak everything, or my 'Wake the F#^% Up People Rants' hasn't really been serving me or anyone else for that matter.

This apology is the result of shooting an on-camera dialog yesterday with Larry Santoyo of EarthFlow Design Works. Larry did some nice work breaking open my head, and although I'll probably revert to ranting next week, it's important to recognize that getting down to work and reinventing a new wheel through optimism, is far more progressive and fruitful.

"Let us act now not out of fear for the future, but out of love for the things we love about the present..." - Larry Santoyo, Permaculture for Humanity.

Larry is a well known permaculturalist who spends most of his time breaking down people's preconceived notions about permaculture, the future of design, environmental activism, and most importantly, their preconceived notions and judgments about each other.

As I introduce myself and give him a bit of my background he bluntly says, 'too much information' which throws me a bit off balance, but then we're off again talking about the reality of where I am and what we're set to talk about. I open the dialog saying that one of the main reasons I'm there is to talk about true food security through permaculture design. He dives into the issue explaining that it's not really an issue. He describes how we live in a world of abundance and how growing food isn't really that hard, people have been doing it for thousands of years, and if people aren't doing it, nature is doing it on it's own anyways. Food is the easy part, it's getting over ourselves and our judgments of each other where new and improved approaches are most necessary.

He speaks to the fact that everything is rooted in the beautiful, brilliant, complex, yet simple designs of nature. All around the world people are compartmentalizing themselves into eco-activism, environmentalism, capitalism... or whatever other 'Ism' makes them feel secure enough to pass judgement on others and what simply IS. Larry talks about how we all need to move beyond these 'Isms' and actually start to dialog with each other and communicate and cross-pollinate. He sites examples of Eco-Activists going to cooperate board meetings with a bone through their nose and fighting for their cause. He outlines how one of the first laws of nature is mimicry and adaptation, and if the eco-activists truly want to be heard they should apply these lessons found within the nature they're trying to protect. If you want to get your point across, adapt and move away from opposition towards compassion, and simply take that bone out of your nose and maybe put on a suit. Instead what so often happens is people walk out of meetings having not been heard, but not caring because they feel they are right in their righteous stance of judgment.

A lot of people don't want to budge since they are so instilled in their 'Isms' that they themselves, like perhaps all of us, have lost the ability to adapt, listen, communicate, and exchange information to the benefit of all. What then happens is we find ourselves with our heels dug in fighting in opposition to the people with whom we share the world. We may we wearing Burkinstocks with dreadlocks.. but we're still pointing our finger downwards, and in that, how are we any better than those cruising around in their Mercedez Benz?

And that's one main theme for Larry throughout our dialog, "We have to dispel this myth that there are "Good Guys" and "Bad Guys"... there are only just guys!"

The same ideas apply to the natural world and human impacts on nature. Beef is the perfect example, there is a lot of harping on beef these days when in reality it's not all that bad. Sure it's negative to raise beef on an industrial scale in a desert landscape, but if you have an abundance of grass and graze sustainably beef is acutally good for both land and people. But again in our world of ISMs Beef = BAD... talk about throwing the baby out with the bath water for the sake of being right and righteous! And why is it so important to be right? Maybe because we all want to belong to an ISM for the sake of our egos and identities.. and because we're all just a little too afraid to find common ground, be vulnerable, communicate and grow towards a beautiful future.

Like many other times in throughout this journey Larry has served as a reminder that nothing is ever black and white, and fear, in whatever form it may take, is never the answer.

I'm grateful to Larry and his partner Kathryn for welcoming me into their home, feeding me wonderful food, and sharing in beautiful dialogs both on and off camera!

peace,
d