Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Location: Santa Fe

Got back late yesterday afternoon from Prajna; Joan Halifax Roshi's refuge space up at 9,400ft. Had a wonderful time and found another place that definitely feels like home. There's something about off grid solar living, the absence of plumbing, wood stove heating, and needing to collect rainwater for drinking that just speaks to me. I think it's the fact that it speaks to simplicity and the fundamentals of living. I love being in a space where there are real consequences for inaction and complacency. I love places where we are forced to connect to our inner selves through communion with a wild and natural world.

It also helps when the space is at 9,400ft and the only way in is by strapping on snowshoes and trudging five miles straight up. This makes for a sparse population of only the most committed individuals at the top. It's makes getting there a big part of being there, and this is something I obviously deeply relate to.

A week ago I arrived at the Upaya Zen Center at 8 a.m. and walked straight into a flurry of packing and preparing. Roshi and her right hand woman Peg gave me some last minute packing details and off we went in Roshi truck, Veronica the van left in the dust of the Upaya parking lot.

Roshi's mountain compadre and contemporary sherpa Hal was waiting for us when we arrived at the base of the five mile trek. Hal greeted all of us with an open smile but was quick to point out my lack of snowshoes. Feeling in top form I was quick to point out that I'd be fine and was ready for anything.. I turned down Hals offer of his snowshoes and only upon the insistence of my fellow trekkers Peg and Lisle did I finally give up my fifty-pound bag of camera gear and clothing.

Sometimes when you most need it, humility can be in short supply.

Roshi sped off up the mountain side hanging onto Hal, this snowmobile shuttle is a recent aid to assist her past the first three miles of the trek. It seems Roshi shattered her femur last June and has since had to cope with some serious pain. This encountering a woman who has spent much time high on mountains whether here or on Eastern continents. Her spirit is far from shattered and really the only thing that seems to keep her from encountering the climb on foot is the love and insistence of those who care about her.

Lisle took off like a dart on her skis, while Peg and I trekked up on foot, her with snowshoes me without but doing fine. This was the case for at least the first mile.. then, as the snow deepened, the post-holing began. I was suffering and wrath of my ego deep footstep after deep footstep, boots filling with snow, jeans soaking through, and legs taking a tremendous beating. The sun was out and shining the snow was softening beneath our feet and it looks as though it was going to be a long long, very long day. After about a half-mile of contemplation on ego and humility I rounded a rock-faced bend, to see ahead on the snow path, Hal's snowshoes jutting out of the snowbank. In that moment the angels sang and the hot sun was transformed from sweaty burden into warm and blissful rays of light.

We reached our bags at the three mile point where Roshi and Hal had continued on foot for the remaining two miles of bushwhacking. After some lunch and a rest we continued our trudge uphill, packs now heavy upon our shoulders. After another grueling hour and a half, snowshoes slipping off trail into the deep snow, we arrived at Prajna...

We were greeted by the smiles of Roshi, Hal and Prajna residents Marty and Maria and dogs Dominga and Shannon. The picnic table where they were seated was filled end to end with Marty's fresh baked goods, breads, cheeses, and chocolates.. causing the trudge up the mountainside to quickly begin its transition out of the present and into the realm of memory.

peace,d