October 5, 2008
Moab, Utah

I’m jeopardizing my sleep-spot by writing this, the glow of the computer shining through the curtains, but I had to write this!

Life is so funny sometimes. I was depressed, actually not depressed just not in the zone. When I get like that I tend to soak it up, tend to feel it all the way through, try to get outside myself and be the observer and not take it too personally, although that’s exactly what it is. Anyways that’s the place I’ve been in for the past two days.

My solar panels seem to be on their last legs, and I’ve been literally out of energy. My battery bank in the back of my van is dead and thus I haven’t been able to charge my cameras, laptop, phone, make tea (except with a burner)… nothing. On top of all this it’s been raining steady, the van is a complete disaster, I haven’t been eating write because I’m living on the ultra-cheap, and Moses stuck his head into a bee’s nest today! (don’t worry he’s fine)

Anyway… all of this gets you into a funk, until you do something about it.

I was going to plug into the Moab Youth Garden and recharge but I think the rain has kept most of the peeps laying low over the weekend. Plus this was only a temporary fix. SO… I go to Napa on Saturday and buy 20ft of wire to run from the battery under my hood to a switch by my seat, through the van, to connect to the battery bank in the rear. This way everything should charge off my alternator when the van runs.

So I tinker, toy and tuck wires away, get the whole thing set up, and turn the key. Nothing. My batteries in the back haven’t increased at all. So I mope around for the rest of the day and watch the rain fall until Sunday morning.

Sunday (today) I talk to my friend Vonda who is an osteopath up in Canada. We talk mostly about energy. She is talking about taking care of the self and how when we do so we balance our energy, and in being balanced we become conduits for healing vibes from the outside. I believe in this idea and it reflects a lot of what Morris and Betty Ann Littlewolf taught me while up on the Reservation. “The first round is always for you! Take care of yourself first, then creator can work through you.” I have been doing anything but taking care of myself this past week… just slipping a bit for some reason… getting caught up in the ego and feeling pitiful. Vonda’s advice is to ground myself.

So then I talk to my father, I explain the wiring I’m doing and how it’s not working. What does my father say, “Well are you grounded?”

Exactly… so I install a ground wire off my battery bank going to the frame… BZZZZZZZZZ I’m back on track. I can drive, flick a switch, direct juice to my bank, flick it back, sit down and plug in! And it’s funny because ever since my electrical system is back on track things are lining up again in perfect harmony. I’ve just driven to my sleep-spot and I feel like I’ve hit a state of grace, there’s this beautiful song playing on the radio (Moab KZMU) and I just had to take this picture and drop a few lines.

Because I guess it’s true, when we lose our stride, it becomes a time in which it’s really important to ground ourselves.

peace,
d