You know, I’m so tired of being angry. I’m mad as hell. But it’s like the low-lying stress that fills my filmmaking process. The stress, doubt and uncertainty that exists just below the radar, that’s also the place of my anger.

But if I’m honest with myself I can clearly see that I’m angry. And I have to let it go. I have to find compassion and understanding, but most of all I have to find acceptance. I have to accept that our world is very much headed towards calamity, but that’s just the way things have to go sometimes. We can’t control the nature of change, but we can always trust that nature will change.

What am I angry about?

I’m angry that Alberta Ranchers have to fight to protect wild fescue grasses from oil and gas development. I’m angry that people are still arguing in support of the MacKenzie Gas Pipeline, when the environmental consequences would be catastrophic. I’m angry the Southern Rockies are being littered with roadways and power lines to enable gas wells. I’m angry because everything is so damn confusing, as we exist in a paradox. I’m angry I have to drive to make this film. I’m angry because we’ve all arrived at a place with no easy answers, a place where we’re all dependent upon cheap fossil fuels for our food, shelter, jobs, and material junk. I’m angry Steven Harper is in Germany arguing for ‘intensity-based’ environmental targets that would allow pollution to increase alongside our industrial growth. I’m angry because I feel so alone in my concerns, I feel like everyone else is just la-dee-da, it’s all going to be ok. I’m angry I feel this way when maybe there is hope that I can’t see. I feel most media is built up of sound bites and reasonable solutions, solutions that aren’t even close to being enough. I’m angry we all argue for being reasonable while our entire paradigm is the epitome of unreasonable actions and choices. Be reasonable and god forbid don’t challenge the status quo, don’t challenge everything we’ve built, don’t challenge our flawed genius! I’m angry because the lower and middle class, as throughout history, will likely be the ones who take the coming hit the hardest. I’m angry because ignorance is bliss and bliss is what I honestly want. I’m angry that I always feel I sound so alarmist, even while people are nodding their heads in agreement. I’m angry because I think we may just be F%$*ED and I care about this world and the people in it. I’m angry because it would be so much easier not to give a shit and maybe that’s why so many people don’t. I’m angry because I think we are going to have to let go one way or another and make some VERY significant changes. And, I’m angry at the fact that while I may talk a good talk, I’m holding on as tightly as anyone.

There… whew… got that off my chest. Feeling better now, seriously, what a relief.

Going to gather some interview content now.

peace,
d
Images taken while out with Mike Judd surveying the destruction in the Gladstone Valley left by drunken ATV riding lunatics after the May long weekend. Something else that just makes me angry ;-)