Ok.. I'm about to head out on the land for a week or so.. but before I go I have to tell you about the day I had yesterday.

So I wake up and it's raining and gross out. I'm kinda lonely or depressed so I start cleaning my van, as my mothers voice echoes "A tidy room is a tidy mind" hehe.. and while I'm doing this, the side door to my van is open. All of a sudden I look back at the door and there is looking in, is a huge black bear.

Now the bearspray is in the glovebox in the front, I'm in the back, and bear's head is between me and it. We make eye contact, and in a solid voice I say the only thing that comes to mind, "HEY BEAR!" The bear backs up a bit and I reach forward and close the door almost on it's head.

Heart is racing as I watch the bear take off into the woods and then come out behind my van, what's this, with two cubs. Glad she's headed the other way. I try to get some images but all I'm getting is butt shots.. no good. So I figure, she'll be back.

I clean for another hour, and sure enough, she comes back, this time keeping her distance. I film her as she swims across the river with her cubs and then film/watch as they munch on grass safely on the other side.

ok.. so this is my morning.

My day is pretty normal.

Then in the evening, I'm driving back to my camp spot and I see some foxes on a sand hill. I then see the den. I get out of the van and climb on the roof with cameras, and the foxes, as if dancing and acting out for the cameras, played and raced around for a good hour and a half. At times, they would walk right up to the van and look up at me, as if to say "hello, I'm fox, wanna hang out? Look at our life, it's so much fun, come down and play!" Anyway I captured some great footage and learned a lot about joy and playfulness from my new friends.

Later on before bed, I'm brushing my teeth sitting down by the river (bearspray now always in tow) and I notice an unusual amount of suds floating by. I look up river and there in the water is a gigantic moose. This is too wild, literally. I go get my cameras, but by the time I get to a good shooting distance the moose is gone. But in it's place are a row of ducklings with mother and on the other side of the river a beaver munching away on some small trees. The sun is setting and the clouds are one of the most beautiful shades of pink I have ever seen.

I have no idea how I ever woke up feeling lonely or depressed. I don't feel that way anymore. I now am grateful and filled with contentment, since I now recognize that I'm nowhere close to being alone out here.

And.. I'm not just talking about the animals.

peace,
d

Wednesday July 26, 2006
Location: Same Small River Outside Fort Simpson

There has been something I’ve wanted to write about for a while, my interview with Pearl Keenan, who lives in the small community of Teslin just south of Whitehorse.

Yukon MLA Larry Bagnall whom I met at the Dawson City Film Festival a few months ago gave me Pearl Keenan’s contact info. Pearl is an elder who was born and raised in Teslin, but spent most of her life living in B.C. working with First Nations, only to return to Teslin later in life. I met Pearl at her house on the way from Whitehorse to Fort Simpson, we sat down in her kitchen to talk as two crows called to us from her porch outside.

At the age of eighty-five Pearl is a beautiful woman, with deep lifelines covering her face. For me it’s always strange to find myself brought face to face with people whom I have never met before, people who have graciously let me into their lives to share their experiences and wisdom.

After walking through the door, I told Pearl about my background and gave her some time to gauge my intentions. Soon we were laughing and she smiled as she said quite seriously, “As you know, I was very careful with you -- since I have to be really careful about who I talk to.” This is something I have been told many times by a close friend of mine back home while I growing up, I have often ignored her advice, but am now starting to get it. Everything in it’s own time. Anyway, after introductions and making sure we were on common ground, I set up my camera and we got into it.

“What would you like me to speak about?” Pearl asked.

“Well that’s up to you Pearl, you can speak to whatever you feel is important.”

“Well, then I’d like to speak about youth and the environment, as these are very important to me.”

I sat and listened as Pearl spoke about our need to reconnect with nature and the need urgently do something about global warming. She spoke to the fact that we need to wake up before it’s too late and we need to help the youth in any way we can. At one point she looked straight through me and told me that there is only one piece of advice that she really wants to give. And that advice is to be good to people, and everyday when you’re going about your business and you see someone having a hard time give them a hand, and in that way make sure to leave the world a better place when you’re gone. I think that’s pretty good advice. I think often we get so caught up in ourselves that we forget to realize that there are many people in the world far worse off than us. And in many cases, you could argue that it is actually our capitalist system that has put them there in the first place.

Pearl and I spoke for about an hour and a half, but due to not having a camera assistant and having a low battery, I only captured about twenty-five minutes. Battery lesson learned. But at the same time, I can’t help feel that the remainder of our conversation was not supposed to be captured on film. I can’t help but feel that it was meant for me to carry and not for a general viewing audience. Although much of it can be conveyed, much of it is experiential, and in some ways I think you have to walk the road to come to know it. I often feel this way in speaking with people I’ve met, and therefore have let go of some really great on camera interviews. I feel when approaching the question of how do you film the sacred, often the answer simply becomes, you don’t even try.

I guess it all comes down to a question of intuition and balance. I spend a lot of energy feeling my way through my work, and when all is said and done, I know regardless of what I choose to capture or not, there will be no shortage of footage. And when it comes to the voices and the people encountered, I guess in many ways, every conversation I’ve had, will continue to live on within me. I guess this is the nature of story telling and the oral tradition. It’s not always about putting something in a neat little box so you can sell it, or show it to your friends, and it’s not always about money or the ego.

Sometimes it’s about letting go, so you can actually hear what’s really important.

Peace, d

PS When I left I gave Pearl a gift and although there was no need she gave me some smoked trout. I cooked it that eve on the side of the highway... and let me tell you.. no lie.. it was the best fish I've eaten in my entire life!

PSS I promise to get pics us as I get more access to wireless internet. But I guess in the end this is a word space, and if you want images, come see the film when it's done ;-)The number of photos featured directly corresponds to my wireless access.. so in a way it all speaks to the place and the creative process.

Tuesday July 25, 2006
Location: Small River Outside Fort Simpson on the Way towards Wrigley
N 61 53' 39.9"
W 121 36' 45.9"

Michael Cazon told me about this great location. Michael is the husband of Tonya whom I mentioned in my initial blog about Simpson. Michael works with youth getting them back out on the land and teaching them traditional skills and helping them get in touch with themselves and thereby find direction. I spent a brief period of time with him this week talking about his work and my project. We also had a short visit with his neighbor Jimmy, where I learned a little about smoking moose meat while we sat back and enjoyed the fruits of his labor. Michael has also been asked to prepare a presentation about traditional lands and the impact of the previous Norman Wells Pipeline on behalf of the local harvesters. I have offered to help him in any way I can, with photographs, or video footage. I would be honored to work on this type of project, and we will see if anything develops.

After a few days of running around I’ve also been given the go ahead by Simpson Air in regards to a flight out to Virginia Falls situated on the Nahanni River. Ted the owner of Simpson Air has been really busy, but has also been very helpful in trying to fit me in on a food run or similar flight where he has an opening. I as scheduled to go out on Monday evening, but the weather was awful, a forest fire was affecting visibility of the falls, and I was feeling under the weather. I can only hope to get on at a later time next week.

Another development is the fact that this coming weekend I will be going out on the North Nahanni with Loyal Letcher to his family lodge. Loyal has taken National Geographer Photographers out in the past and it is sure to be an amazing filming opportunity. I’m pretty stoked. We will probably stay out there for three to five days, which will provide ample time for day hikes and filming.

I still haven’t had a chance to sit down and interview Nahanni Park Superintendent Chuck Blyth, but I hope to do so before I leave. I’ve had some conversations with him and he is extremely knowledgeable and passionate regarding the park, the pipeline, and northern culture.

When I first got here I met a man named Larry who gave me keys to his apartment for a shower or a place to lay my head if needed. I’ve spent some time over the past few days talking to Larry and I must say the conversations have been excellent and right up the alley of my project. We’ve been talking about Buckminster Fuller, spirituality, quantum physics, the upcoming transition away from fossil fuels, and the general interconnectedness of all things. I hope to record some audio from these conversations since they may find their way into the work down the road.

What else?

I’ve been feeling the need to start heading south and add momentum to the project since I still have a long way before I get to Panama. This pressure comes from a fear of what people back home may be thinking about the project’s process. My conclusion is that this is a project about slowing down and moving at the speed of nature and therefore rushing is contrary to the road. It takes time for opportunities to present themselves, and having little money, time is the main thing I have to work with. In the end, the work will speak to the process and in the end I have faith that the work will be one to remember.

The above paragraph reminded me that I’ve been meaning to write a blog regarding my actual expenses out on the road. Living in a van, bathing in streams and people’s houses, and eating healthy but simple meals causes my expenses to be pretty minimal. My only real costs are food and fuel, the latter being a non-issue when I find a location such as Fort Simpson from which to work from. I would guess that right now, I’m living off about fifty- seventy-five dollars a week. I’ll try to get some actual numbers up here soon, as I think this may be interesting to people who are actually thinking about living in a van down by a river ;-)

Peace,
D

PS. Still on my Fort Simpson to do list,
- Meet & maybe interview Chief Herb Norwegian
- Talk to reporters at the Deh Cho Drum (newspaper)
- Drive up to Wrigley for some photos
- Talk to remaining contacts provided by Tonya

Thursday July 20, 2006
Location: Simpson
N 61 52’27.9”
W 121 23’01.2”
Time: 11:38
State: Grateful

It’s so amazing how fear works against us in life. Over the past few days I’ve realized that I still have lots of fear left to come to terms with. I don’t know where it all comes from but it’s definitely there. As I pulled into Fort Simpson, I felt afraid and sad. Afraid that I wouldn’t meet the right people, afraid that I wouldn’t have the courage to move forward and capture what I’ve come here to capture and afraid I wouldn’t find a way to travel up the Mackenzie River. Mainly I was afraid that coming here would be a waste of time, and all of this fear, brought on sadness.

I pulled into town around 9:30pm driving the streets for a while to get a lay of the land. I then drove out to the end of the island and shot an 8mm timelapse (fast motion) of the sunset on the Mackenzie River. Here on the beach at the end of town, I went to sleep under the fading pink sky.

I awoke at 1am… actually that’s a lie… I never went to sleep… I fought mosquitos, killing them one by one by letting them land on me… bite me… SWACK! Reincarnation time! Again and again… until 2:30am when I realized there was a leak/opening somewhere they were flowing through. I checked all the doors and windows, no openings. So I drove to the boat launch that I would assumed would be less mosquitoey, no such luck, so I didn’t get much sleep, head buried under a pillow. But I digress!

This morning I awoke tired still holding this stirring fear… fear of what lay out in the area I couldn’t see. Fear of all those things I mentioned earlier. So I made the choice to confront my fear.

1) Why was I afraid?

Well I think it’s mainly that deep down inside I’m a shy and quiet guy. I like to walk alone on a solitary path and I like to listen from outside the circle looking in. I guess in many ways, this is what has brought me to where I am. At the same time, I have fairly strong visioning skills, and in the past have done well in leadership roles, probably also because I like to listen.

So there are two sides to Dan, (blah blah blah… me, me, me;-) one quiet and solitary, and the other, visionary leadership guy, hehe. The reason for my fear is that neither of these two people likes to go out and speak with strangers and break new trail. In a strange place, where you don’t know anyone, it can often be difficult to take the steps necessary to create your future.

2) What was I going to do about it?

I heard a really good quote once, I think it was during an interview with Natalie Merchant, and it went something like this,

“Interviewer: Do you have any idea of how you got to where you are today?

Merchant: Well, I’ve pretty much always found the things that I was afraid of in life, and then headed straight for them. I’ve spent a lot of my time confronting my fears.”

I decided to do the same. I decided first to let go of my weak ego (Oooo, I suck, poor me, Oooo) attitude and face my demons*. What was I afraid of anyway, I’M A WARRIOR! I’M A FILMMAKING WARRIOR GENIUS!!! Haha, you have to say shit like this to yourself sometimes to get over hurdles of self-deprecating modesty. It may or may not be true, but it does the trick to get you through the door… and, all you need, is to walk through the door.

First I went to the visitor’s centre and read about the Nahanni River and Park and picked up a map of the town and outlined my contact points. Airlines, outfitters, Parks Canada office, these were the people I figured could somehow help me get up the Mackenzie. I first went to Simpson Air and they told me they could probably get me out to Virginia Falls (twice the height of Niagara) in exchange for sponsorship. When it came to the river they told me I should speak with a man named Loyal and/or Carl at the Energy & Natural Resources Office. So I went and met Loyal. After talking about the project, Loyal invited me up the North Nahanni River to his family lodge. This would be with his family next weekend. Amazing! On the way out of the ENR office I met Carl who gave me a further lay of the land and informed me that I should go talk to the band office.

This is where met Tonya. Tonya works with the band office in health and wellness and herself is a painter. She came up here a few years ago from Yellowknife to go out on the land and paint. This is when she met her husband Michael. She never left. Sitting in her office, Tonya and I talked about a whole range of topics for most of the afternoon. She gave me a whole whack of contact info and invited me to a debriefing meeting for the Open Sky Festival (Art festival the first week of July in Fort Simpson). I left her office buzzing with good feelings and went down to the river and had a swim/bath. Around eight, after a long nap, I headed over to the meeting and met some amazing people. Tonya was there with Karen, Anyes, Larry, Chuck, Jack, and some names I don't remember.. ughh.. all artist or people who support the arts here in Fort Simpson. I am blown away by how good some people are. It is people, more than anything else, who give me hope for a better future. We covered a lot of ground and had some great conversations until around midnight. I then headed back to my sleep spot at the boat launch and wrote this blog.

All you need to do is walk through the door. From that point on, you wonder what you were ever afraid of in the first place.

Or, from the calendar on the wall in Tonya’s office,

“The death of fear is in doing what you fear to do” - Native Chief, 1876
I couldn’t agree more.

peace,
d

Tuesday July 18, 2006

In my entire life, have never seen a rainbow like tonight. Over the past few days I’ve traveled south down the Alaska Highway from Whitehorse. Today I turned back north heading towards Fort Simpson and the south end of the Mackenzie River. I stopped in Fort Liard around 6:20pm just before a tremendous thunderstorm rolled in.

I’m making pretty good time. I drive roughly 5-6 hrs per day, with frequent stops to take photographs or shoot film. The photography and filming transforms my 5 hr drive into an 8 hr day. Using a Sharpie marker I’ve scrawled the following mantra across my dashboard, “THE PURPOSE IS NOT TO DRIVE, THE PURPOSE IS TO SHOOT!” This makes it easier not to get caught up in the idea of a destination. It makes it easier for me to follow my intuition and take my time.

I recently read an interview in which photographer CR Stecyk is explaining how he gets lost in the process. “ I try to seep out past the edge of my awareness. On a good day I won’t even know when I’m doing it. It’s all getting lost in the process for me. The results and the end product don’t matter. I stalk mistakes. If I was trying, there would be no miracle in failure.” CR Stecyk – Juxtapoz: Art & Culture Magazine, July 2006
This is somewhat how I approach my work. Today as I’m driving along I come to an old wooden bridge with rusted steel guide rails. I pass over the bridge and drive on. About 5km down the road I decide to turn around and go back… there’s something there… I can feel it. I come back to the bridge, the light has shifted and is now perfect. I cross back over, set up the 8mm camera on the roof of the van with duct tape, and capture the bridge.

The beauty is this, had I set up the camera on the initial crossing, the light would not have been right. In this way, as Stecyk explains, I am stalking my mistakes, and in this space the universe becomes a collaborator. The idea keeps hitting me in the face. It’s all about navigating into those spaces where you can no longer see where you are, or what lies up ahead. That’s the space where the real miracles happen.

Yesterday I stopped at the Upper Liard hotsprings, rumored to have magical healing powers. The place was RV central, making me pretty sure I wouldn’t be going into the springs. I hiked up to the springs and sure enough there were about twenty RV’ers wading about. I was disappointed as I dipped my toes in the steaming water. This wasn’t my idea of a healing space. I was looking for silence. After giving up, I decided to continue further up the path. After about five minutes, I came to a second hot spring, nestled deep in the trees, completely empty. It seems all the RV’ers, in their excitement, had been pulled into the first pool. This second pool was the space I had been looking for. Here I had given up, let go of my expectations, and entered that space where I was lost. It was here in this space, that I sank into the deep bubbling water and let the meditative sound of the wind rustling in the leaves above wash over me.

Peace,d

Pics for the last three blogs will appear as soon as I find a wireless connection.
peace,
d

July 13, 2006
Location: Whitehorse, Yukon
Time 6:05pm
State: Calm

That last blog was supposed to be about my filmmaking process, but I got sidetracked by The World’s Most Well Traveled Garden. How could you not?

In a recent email from one of my close friends mentioned that although I’ve been doing really well to share how I am doing emotionally, spiritually and physically, she would like to hear more about how the road is affecting my film and my process.

Here goes,

I don’t know if any of you have ever heard or read about a young man by the name of Dan Eldon… but Dan (along with Filmmaker Frank Cole) has had a tremendous affect on how I approach filmmaking, and more importantly, how I approach life.

Dan Eldon* was a young photojournalist who has often been given credit for the phrase the journey is the destination. He was a prolific photographer but is probably most well known for his personal journals. Through his journals Dan has captured this idea of life as a constant act of creative expression.

For me this is what it’s all about. This is what I am after. I want to capture the art of life, not my life, although that’s part of it, but the art of ALL life, the artful ways in which the universe magically creates. And I want to explore this idea of how if we could only just learn the art of getting out of the way, everything would be much better.

Considering the above, the question of where my filmmaking process begins and ends is becoming a difficult distinction. I am finding I am reshaping my ideas of work, as everything around me is feeding into my process. I am a workaholic by nature and I am having a extremely hard time just stopping. Stopping is becoming a very important tool for me, since through the act of stopping**, some of the most wonderful things have happened. It’s as thought you have to clear out space in your life in order for your path to take hold. You have to clear out your mind and find silence to allow your true self to emerge. This is what I’m learning.

A good example of this was last week. Having to wait four days on a GMC appointment, I decided, rather than spend the time in Whitehorse, I would head back up to Dawson City to my friend Rachel’s cabin in the woods. There, in the silence as Rachel worked, I would find further direction. What I didn’t know was that Rachel was off for a few days and her roomate Jess’ boyfriend Marc was in town, so instead of silence, I found a house full of people. To the workaholic in me this was not good. But, this is where my definition of working begins to shift. Sitting one evening over board games we began talking about life, the world, activism, family and my project. And, from this conversation I learn that Marc’s parents are HUGE proponents of SLOW FOOD and of going back to the land. I learn they operate a bison farm in Alberta, and if I'm interested, I can go visit, speak with them, learn about going back to the land, and even learn to butcher my own meat. Here I was not working, and a wealth of traditional knowledge had opened its doors to me. All it required was for me to simply stop ‘working’ and let go of my concept of getting things done. Although we're all busy running around with clocks and timetables, the world doesn’t really work this way, you could even argue that all our clocks and timetables are actually slowing us down or stopping us from getting the really important things done. Hehe, what a funny thought.

peace,
d

To be human is to be both a work of art and an artist. – Alan Jones (from memory.. might not be exact quote.)

* If you want to learn more about Dan Eldon, there is really good book out there called Dan Eldon, The Art of Life, by Jennifer New as well as many others displaying his personal journals.

** The act of stopping. I feel the idea of the act of doing nothing really important. It speaks to me of the importance of living an ACTIVE life versus a PASSIVE one. We have to actively stop ourselves in this world, otherwise we find ourselves carried off by technology and false notions of progress. We find ourselves unconscious in Wall Mart checkout lines, buying things we really don’t need. We find ourselves glued to the tube watching crappy television that we’re really not interested in. We find ourselves passively accepting that this is the way things are, instead of actively standing up, engaging ourselves and making choices with lasting affects. All of our choices have lasting affects.

July 13, 2006
Location: Whitehorse, Yukon
Time 6:05pm
State: Calm

Sitting in my van at Rotary Park. The sky above me is cloudy, the horizon holds onto blue and the leaves of the trees are all turned upwards as the wind stirs the intermittent thunderstorms. My roof is leaking. Not enough duct tape -- or rather, today when I was at Canadian tire, I should have bought some caulking.

I’ve positioned the plants I repotted today under the leak. Oh the plants.. I haven’t mentioned the plants yet. When Forbes and I were up in Inuvik at the Inuvik Community Greenhouse I hatched a crazy idea. The idea: The World’s Most Well Traveled Garden. I was thinking wouldn’t it be great as a side project to have a garden that has traveled all the way from Inuvik to the Panama Canal.

How would I do it? I would build a rectangular 1’ x 1’ x 4’ wooden box for my roof rack to house the soil and plants. I would then attach a hinged Plexiglas lid with air holes that I could put down when driving, giving the plants gentle air circulation, and flip open when stopped for optimal sunlight. Yes! Jessica from the greenhouse was all for it asking if they could donate the initial plants. What could be better, a greenhouse at 68 degrees North, donating plants to a mobile rooftop garden heading south.

Anyway, I haven’t gotten around to building the rooftop box, but I have started the garden. Jess at the greenhouse donated Sage, Chocolate Mint, Habenero Pepper and Black Dragons (fitting into my project title). These plants sat happily traveling on my dashboard and around my van from Inuvik to Whitehorse until today when they began showing signs of needing to be repotted (a few yellowing leaves). This morning, while running errands, I picked up a small 6” x 24” planter for their new home.

When they get bigger, or when I find some more plants, I will build the rooftop garden. My only concern: border guards. But today, the woman who sold me the planter gave me the telephone number of Agriculture Canada to have the plants checked out in advance. That only leaves Mexico and all of Central America… hmmm… I guess I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.

The plants are now in fresh soil, nestled alongside the back window of my van, just in time to help with a leaking roof, catching the rain from thunderstorms as they roll through town.

peace,
d

July 12, 2006
Location: Whitehorse, Yukon
Time: 4:28pm
State: Calm.

I’ve wanted to write a blog about bikes for a while now. Yup, bicycles. Bicycles are great! I love bicycles. Last week when Forbes and I first rolled into Whitehorse we decided to park our van down by the Canada Day festivities at Rotary Park. This is not a camping space, but one of the great things about living in a van, is that people really don’t recognize that you’re actually living in a van. Anyway we setup home base and headed off to catch some shows including some amazing Cuban music from the band... I forget the name but you can find them represented by caribou records. The next morning when we woke up there were some girls with well packed bicycles living next door in the grass. That evening as we were both getting ready to make some dinner, they asked if they could cook by our van, to which I replied “of course!”

Let me introduce you to Jess, Jessie, Jo Jo, Tally and Liz, our bicycling friends from Whitehorse. These girls are bicycling from Anchorage Alaska to Northern California over a two-month period all using the wonder of pedal power. Why are they doing it?… well, from what I gathered they mainly just LOVE riding bikes! And, on some level I think it was partly to prove the point that bicycles are a viable form of transportation for everything including going to the store, visiting friends, and even traveling long distances.

As I cruise down the highway in my 3/4 ton van burning copious amounts of fuel, you wouldn’t believe the number of cyclists I pass. People who have decided to leave their cars behind and explore the countryside by pedal power, usually with only two changes of clothes, a tent, a sleeping bag, and enough food to take them from A-B. This is in contrast to the RV’ers who usually have the RV, with Jeep Cherokee in tow, and sometimes a trailer with ATV. It’s no surprise to see them almost not fit through the door as they exit their vehicles.

All of these people riding bikes have led me to seriously thinking about the potential of Human Propelled Vehicles. There are countless websites devoted to people making it work and demonstrating the untapped potential of human power. An increase in the use of these forms of transportation is not only good for the pocket book, it’s good for our health and wellbeing, good for the environment, and good for human connectivity. I don’t understand why more of us aren’t biking. Seriously, when was the last time you rode your bike? Or rather, when was the last time you drove, when you could have easily biked?

I guess more of us don’t bike because our cities are designed around a fossil fuel economy, filling our streets with smog, making cycling unenjoyable. (Except for those times that you find yourself breezing past swearing motorists stuck in gridlock. Or is it that as adults we have settled for more ‘mature’ forms of transportation, leaving bicycling to the realm of child’s play. I don’t know. But, I do know one thing. I love bikes!

After the girls had left to continue on their way South I found myself sitting in Zola’s Café reading the paper… and, as the universe works in mysterious ways, I found myself reading an article about this very topic of bicycling, here is an excerpt,

“Citizens of Holland conduct 30 percent of their trips to work, errands and social reasons by bike. In Canada it is less than one percent.

Even though the average distance for a trip is between 2 to 4 kms, we still drive 84 percent of the time. According to one survey, gas would have to go up to $3.00 a litre before we would consider using other forms of transportation.

In the United Kingdom, the government allows tax relief to employers for expenditures on anything that encourages employees to use environmentally friendly transportation like bike racks, staff bike sheds, shower facilities, clothing lockers and company bus passes.

Now that’s a great idea.”

peace,
d

I'mabout to run out of money on this coin operated internet.. but check out this site,

www.dorothycutting.ca

peace,
d

This should be a great show regarding the North and its development.

Click here: Nature of Things

Thanks to Caroline for this link. Love ya!
d

So when I originally created the outline for The Searching for Dragons film project it was all about solitude and being a pilgrim/drifter somehow looking in at the world from the outside or from a place of impermanence.

Back in May I wrote an entry entitled Solitude in Mashuyak about how I was grateful to have a companion with me and thankful to have someone to share my experiences with. Since the very beginning Forbes has been there for me helping me with the driving, cooking, lugging gear and providing perspective and insight in times when I needed it most. I couldn't have asked for a better Assistant Filmmaker.

But about a month ago I began having conversations with Forbes about my need to focus and be alone. As I mentioned at the beginning of this blog, the original intent of my project was solitude and looking in from the outside. Somehow I lost track of this intention early on and ended up out on the road with one of my closest friends. For this I am thankful, everything in life happens for a reason, and I am a better person for not heading out alone. And, I'm sure Forbes is a better person for his experience of the North.

It took me a long time to come back to this idea of solitude. I think, subconsciously, we often know what we need in life but refuse to bring it to a conscious level, we refuse to bring it out into the open. I think we do this for a few reasons, but most of all I think we deny these intuitive subconscious feelings out of fear. For me it's a fear of hardship, a fear of being misunderstood, a fear of emotionally upsetting someone close to me, and a fear of standing up alone and finding my voice in this world.

Last week sitting on a curb in Whitehorse I finally confronted my fears sharing my thoughts, "Forbes, I have something to tell you. -- I'm going on solo." ... Although we had talked about this possibility at the project outset, I really expected Forbes to be upset and even angry. This wasn't the case, "I understand," he said as he took a deep breath. In this breath I can only guess he was considering the full implications of such a sudden shift. No longer was he scheduled to be in Yellowknife, Alberta, North Dakota, Utah or Mexico.. for him it was now once again all open -- a blank slate.

I find this idea of Forbes' shifting perspective really interesting in relation to the project. For this reason, I have asked him to continue with his blog entries. I think it will be interesting to see how our paths diverge and to watch as he leaves life on the road and moves back into the pulse and rhythm of mainstream society.

For me... I am now all alone.

Now that I look back on it, I think having Forbes with me was a way of holding onto my home, and on some level, it was a way of not facing myself and taking the easy way out. It's hard to now explain why I've made the choices I have. Often when I tell people I'm going on alone, they look at me with a confused look that says, "Why would you want to be out there all alone?... I don't understand."

I guess most of us are simply built for companionship, I know I am, but why is it that we are all so afraid of deep solitude? For me, solitude has always held profound teachings. Solitude afterall travels hand in hand with silence, and silence, as far as I'm concerned, is something greatly lacking in the technological world we've created. In our world it often seems silence has been replaced by distraction. Often it seems the only way to truly get away from it all, is to leave it all behind, to drive thousands of kilometers to those increasingly rare places where time loses meaning and silence envelops you.

To be honest, I have no real understanding of what I'm doing, but I do know what feels right. My intuition is telling me that Searching for Dragons is a solitary journey that will probably break me apart as much as it will put me back together. It tells me the road ahead will be difficult and at times painful, but also very rewarding. And, it tells me this is the path I am meant to walk...

...all I can do is listen.

peace,
d

I just posted a blog from the Dempster Hwy.. a few blogs back.. chk it out.

and here are some pics... Mmmmmm.
d

There have been a lot of changes in the past few days regarding the project and it's future, but my writing on the subject will have to wait for another time. Forbes and I are off to Hains Junction to speak with some sustainability experts and visit Kluane Park in search of more images... Forbes leaves on Thursday to head back out East for a family gathering, and I will have some time to write and reflect on all that has happened in the past few weeks, and share how it has deeply affected the project.

Hopefully I will also be able to find some wireless to upload pictures from the Dempster Hwy. We have captured some beautiful images in the past few weeks and I am excited to share.

peace,
d