Yesterday (March 30) was a beautiful day in Edmonton. So, Dan and I decided to take advantage of it . We went to a cafe on Whyte Ave., grabbed a couple cups of coffee, and hunkered down for what ended up being a 4 hour stint pf people watching. I got a sunburn on half my face!My cousin Jess is a first year law student at the University of Alberta. She's working super hard, but she took a break last night and we hit the Black Dog pub for a couple rye and gingers! Smile, smile, smile.

Whyte Ave. is in the heart of what was once the town of Strathcona, before the creation of the city of Edmonton in 1912. The rail line rolls right through the center of the neighbourhood. This is fun if you like watching trains, not fun if you are waiting to get to the other side of the tracks! (This is not a hyperlink, but I can't seem to remove it!)

Damn!

Damn. Damn. Damn.

Oh! Look at my wonderful digital camera. It has a gazillion mega pixels that make the picture quality almost exactly the same as celluloid. Also, it has enough memory to store 3ooo photos. And this computer? It's got so much operational memory that you can download 400 different things while simultaneously running several programs. And, it's mobile capability is such that you can be 1000 km from a wireless source and it will still pick it up.

Well, that may be, but the fact remains that one false move of your fingers, one unintentional click of the mouse, or a brief flicker in the power and all the benefits of such technological toys are nullified. Take it from me. All my photos from the trip thus far are gone, 'cause I thought I was deleting old photos, but apparently I had selected incorrectly and deleted the new ones. My computer, likewise, has lost all sorts of "valuable" files because of a seemingly innocent error. And, yeah, fine, you could say "It's not the fault of these devices. They aren't malicious. They haven't been scheming to subvert your efforts. You made the mistakes and are now dealing with the consequences." Well, aren't you the Job's comforter. That's just great! ARRRRGH!!!

I guess this experience highlights a couple things for me. One, that I am very attached to many of the material (and I guess digital) things that I have, and that I shouldn't be. 'Cause shit happens and you lose stuff, even when you think it's safe.

Second, and of more relevance to the project, humans (not just me) often ignore the imperfections inherent in technology; it's only when things go wrong that we remember. We forget how much in our daily lives rely on technology, confidence in science, and trust in the ability of scientists, to the point that we actually believe that we are in control of the world around us. And then, just when everything is going fine, we wake up to the reality: we have control over precious little in this world.

Think about all the drugs that are put on the market without sufficient testing. One day, after thousands of people have been using them for years, new tests reveal nasty side-effects. Thalidomide is a good example. First, doctors and scientists said "Hey! This drug helps reduce the discomfort associated with morning sickness. Lap it up ladies!" Then not long after "Um, well it seems that if you take that drug in your first trimester, your child is going to be deformed. Sorry about that." People were shocked.

When penicillin was discovered in 1929, it was like a miracle. Further research lead to the discovery of other antibiotics and lead to a drastic reduction in our mortality, so naturally we used them as much as possible, and no one said boo. Then came the revelation that the overuse of antibiotics not only in humans, but also our livestock, was leading to the evolution of "super bugs" immune to the arsenal of modern medicine. Again, people were shocked.

We were shocked because we trusted the science behind these discoveries, as if it were infallible. In most cases the people behind the discoveries are not to blame. But, let's remember, scientists put their pants on like everyone else, and sometimes they even forget to do up their fly.

In his book, The Sacred Balance, David Suzuki talks about our trust in science. He says that "the aura of authority carried by scientists has made us believe that knowledge obtained by scientists is the ultimate authority."

And in her book Dark Age Ahead, Jane Jacobs talks about something called "credentialism" which I feel is closely tied to this authority we give science. Credentialism is an unquestioning respect for everything academic. The higher the level of academia that information comes from the more reverence we have for it. Very few of us question science because the things it investigates are often beyond our realm of understanding. But doing this isn't pleading ignorance, it's pleading laziness, and I'll be the first to admit my guilt.

This project is not about mobilizing a fight against technology or contemporary knowledge, it's about regaining a the balance between natural wisdom and scientific savy. The title of this entry was born of frustration and anger. I was so mad that I had no control over these temporal things that I valued and lost. But, obviously, I don't hate technology. Hell! It's the very thing that is allowing me to express myself. I can't hate it! What I do hate is realizing how easily I become complacent and comfortable in a world where such a state can only lead to trouble down the road.

PS. My promise to upload photos from the Toronto party and the trip across Canada is now impossible to fulfill - 'cause those photos no longer exist. Sorry!

Something I want to remember as we hammer out the message of this film:

"There are three sides to every story: my side, your side, and the truth."

I've never heard this saying before, but Shelagh Rogers quoted it the other day when talking to Robert Milton, former CEO of Air Canada.

A lot has happened since I last wrote. We had our Toronto launch party, facilitated by our good friend Joe Touil who will be joining the project as it heads south of the US border. I'll get some pics of that party up ASAP.

We ended up spending a week in Toronto, due to some problems with our computers; Dan's computer cacked out completely, and mine is still struggling to get back into good working order, despite all of Joe's hard work to nurse it back to health.

On Monday, March 20, we tied up the last of our loose ends. Dan went to some Russian computer guru, who informed him that his computer was indeed dead, while I went to the Canada Goose warehouse. It was there, with the help of Leila Lohonyai, that I purchased a fantastic parka. This thing is the real deal: well made, durable, and uber-warm. The kind of thing that makes you beg the gods for a blizzard and sub-zero temperatures just so that you can laugh haughtily at them from warm recess of your huge hood. And damn if it doesn't make me feel sexy! Yes, this parka doesn't just casually say "I'm warm," it authoritatively asserts "I'm hot. Damn hot!" Perhaps the pimps on the boulevard need to update their wardrobes?

I digress.

So, after those things were squared away, we finally set off for a short haul to North Bay, where we were given food and shelter for the night by our friend Natasha Cibischino and her roomies. It felt good to finally get back on the road. Toronto was great, but in a way I felt it was like a vortex sucking us in and sucking motivation and purpose from our journey. North Bay wasn't far enough for me though. Natasha wanted us to visit a little longer, but I felt too antsy and wanted to push on.

Over the next two days, we made our way to our present location: Winnipeg.

But, yesterday morning as we wound west towards Thunder Bay, I tried to reflect on my antsy feelings. Why this need to move?

It's hard to appreciate and absorb the potential significance of one's surroundings if there is no time to stop. Among the things we passed that morning were a giant snowman in the town of Beardmore; a large area of land scorched by a forest fire; an historic old backwoods church; and a 40 foot-tall sandstone or granite sculpture that looked like an alien. These were all things that piqued my interest (perhaps Dan's as well), yet we didn't stop to investigate them further. Should we have?

The mantra of our journey is supposed to be "The journey is the destination" because we feel the film will almost make itself if we remain open to possibility and to chance. Easier said than done it seems, for I feel the need to reach a destination all the time - perhaps a subconscious drive.

I wonder, is this symptomatic of the state of our lives in the West, where we are speed obsessed and spoiled by the constant instant gratification of our needs and wants? We cheerfully and playfully scold each other saying, "take time to stop and smell the roses!" as we go through our busy day, but are we really capable of adopting a lifestyle where this is the ethos?

To be sure, we all have our isolated moments where we do. The week at the cottage, the spontaneous getaway, the Sunday of leisure, are all times when we can step back from our lives and breath. However, when those interludes are over, our "regular" lives resume.

Perhaps, the question is not "are we capable of slowing down?" and rather "are we afraid of slowing down?" I mean, perhaps the pace of our contemporary lives is not a problem because we are used to it. Perhaps, it's more of a blessing. Given the choice, might many of us actually prefer a fast-paced life because there is no time to think about whether we're really happy and fulfilled. No time to mull over our failings, improprieties, and prejudices. No time to consider what we should be doing versus what we are doing. Ignorance is bliss, right?

Well, we did it! We are officially "on the road"! We made it safe and sound to Toronto Monday night. Dan and I arrived at our buddy joe's place around 2 am.

We packed up and were gone from our place at 7:00pm, but we had to swing by Dan's father's place on the way out prior to quitting the city 'cause Dan had to square away some tax issues and sound out some ideas.

By the time that was all done it was 8:30, and Dan's father, with a wry smile, made the suggestion that we should just wait 'till the morning, but we were anxious to hit the road all the same. We were pretty tired, but bouyed by the prospect of finally leaving. It was pretty exciting to cruise the Queen's Way out of town for what remains an indefinite period.

The roads were good, as was the weather, though we did have a little rain. Also, there were some super thick patches of fog on the raod. Traveling at that time, both dan and I were shocked by the number of trucks that were traveling the road or parked at the roadside stops. Amazing...and also troubling when you consider how much each of those trucks consume in energy every year - though the job they do is no doubt valuable. As you can see everything - even the most mundane idea- that crosses my thoughts these days, is gravitating towards the project. I think that's a very good thing!

During the course of the drive I was thinking how I haven't learned much yet about those in the scientific community who believe that humans are actually having a minimal affect on the planet. Probably these voices are marginalized in the current furor over environmental problems that the planet is undergoing. People who assert that really the Earth is moving in cycles that we have not existed long enough to even begin to understand. People who assert that the beliefe that we could have a permanent impact on the planet is a testimony to our species' over-inflated sense of self-importance. I don't necessarily believe this angle completely, but I feel that it deserves consideration if we want to give a balanced perspective.

At any rate, I drove part of the way, starting somewhere just before the "Big Apple" on the 401. The van is SO heavy, that it's quite difficult to drive. I was so tense driving the thing because I'm not used to the drift that comes when driving a rear-wheel-drive vehicle, so I'd end up overstearing too drastically (knee jerk reactions), which would cause me to begin to fish-tail at higher speeds. Happily though, by the time we hit the big smoke, I was feeling a lot more comfortable thanks to some coaching from Dan. Essentially it's like steering a big boat. That being said, drifting when you are on a 4 lane highway with nobody around isn't a problem, but when you are in traffic MAYBE there is less margin for it.

The van looks great. In case anyone was wondering, the she's still unnamed - thankfully. Dan originally had wanted to name her "Van-ronica". LAME is all i'm going to say about that. Though we were pretty exhausted that night, we couldn't help but excited at the prospect of living out of it. It made me feel like I did when I used to build a fort under a card table draped in blankets in the sunroom, at my grandparent's house. Giddy fun! Of course, right now, we aren't using it to the fullness of its capability - ie. we are going to be doing some couch surfing as we cross the country, and I imagine, where-ever the opportunity might present itself - so with a few consecutive days of being in the van constantly might change my tune about that. But, really, it's solid, comfortable, and relatively spacious. It's just about perfect! Also, all the bolts that we drove through the roof to affix the roof rack and the box containing the solar pannels have stopped leaking - so THAT is great!

Last night we had a launch party, at which I snapped some pics...I'll get those up ASAP.

f

Here are a couple quotes that I lifted from David Suzuki's book "The Sacred Balance"

Once upon a time...we knew less about the natural world than we do today. Much less. But we understood that world better, much better, for we lived ever so much closer to its rhythms.

We milk the cow of the world, and as we do
We whisper in her ear, "You are not true."
-Richard Wilbur, "Epistomology"

After going to pick up the van from the garage (where it was getting it's fantastic new Bridgestone tires installed) and a quick nap we went to the Mercury Lounge in the Byward Market, in Ottawa. It was a perfect spot for our do: funky and intimate. It was a great opportunity to say thanks and farewell to our friends and family. Big thanks to Lance Batiste and the other staff at Mercury!Here's a view from the stage. Pretty good turnout, eh?!
Melissa Laveaux and Rob doing makin their soulfull sounds, which everyone dug. Big thanks to Jason Keats and the boys who got together to jam for us. They only had 2 rehersals, but they sounded great! Here you see front man, Kevin Kerry doin his thing. Behind him is a the one of the only decent shots I got of the screen we were using to display a bunch of Dan's raw stock footage from his previous films.

If you're a friend of Dan and I, or if you're simply someone who has been reading our blogs, then you'll find that we've frequently spoken and written about "serentipity" over the past couple months. I want to just broach the subject one more time, at the risk of the word losing it's REAL value in relation to the project.
First, I'll have you know that because we've been using "the word" so much, I decided to look up some synonyms - but there are over 30 terms that mean fate, and a similarly boggling number of synonyms that mean luck. These include some words which I'd never heard used in such a context, like moira, happenstance, and weal (?). Anyway, presented with this multitude of alternatives, I figured that I might as well stay with the original.
But, I digress.
Serendipty has been playing a large part in the project thus far, but for some reason this week, I remarked it more then ever. I mean, just so many things that have fallen into place: me becomming involved, the success of the sponsorship drive, the voluntary help of friends and strangers alike...it's amazing! Even a small amount of hindsight, afforded by the 2 months or so that I've been involved, makes me think of what Paulo Coelho wrote about in The Alchemist: the universe conspiring to bring about something that is desired.
However, unlike what happened in the alchemist with the universe conspiring to bring about the desires of the shepherd boy, these desires aren't just those of Dan or myself. Rather, they are the desires of many of our friends, family members, and supporters; they are the dreams of people for travel, adventure, and fulfillment of social responsibility. Fortune has simply allowed us to be the mediums of these manifest desires.
Conscious of all these people behind us and the project, I am eager more than ever to leave! But we've still got some loose ends to tie up.
In other news, Dan and I have been talking a fair bit about how this project is something that will provide an endless source of work, as parts of it will lead to new avenues that will need to be explored both through the camera lense and in other ways. I'm really excited by this prospect. It's the sort of thing that I've been looking for as a "career": a job that is continually evolving as exterior forces act upon it and change its components and course, as well as my interests. I'm sure I'll have more to say about this in the near future.
That's all for now folks.
adios,
f

So, on a less film focussed note, let's get personal. Let's talk about the ego.

I've been thinking about it a bit, because I've been getting more opportunity to inflate mine of late. And, while I don't really have any conception of what real "fame" is like, there is a tinge of that in the experience I'm having. Dan must be having this to, but it's likely a more vivid shade.

When I talk about the project, people generally have the same positive reacation: "Wow!" and "I wish I was going with you guys!" are common statements in conversations about the topic. Now, maybe I understand (almost expect) this kind of thing from family and friends, but I am always suprised at how many of our well-wishers are complete strangers!

When there is so much positive energy and attention directed at something that hasn't even been done yet and at people who have acheived only a fraction of their goal, well...it really pumps you up and motivates you. However, conversely, I could see it being negative because it could divert your focus from the task at hand - which is, conincidently, the reason you're getting this attention in the first place.

Did any of that make sense?

Well, if not, I think it's an accurate representation of my feelings: confused.

For Dan, it's different because he conceived of the idea for the film and has been working hard to bring the project to this point for the better part of 3 years; nobody can deny that he has something to be proud of. Whereas, I haven't really done anything to deserve the credit, except agree to go. But really, who in my shoes wouldn't do the same thing??

Perhaps I'm being overly analytical; mountain-out-of-a-mole-hill kind thinking. Currently, I still feel like the buzz around the trip is a huge motivator for me - as it should be. So, I've got to say a big thank-you to everyone for being so supportive!

A tantot!

f